UPDATE: Coworker rescinds her offer to make $150 worth of decorations for her friend's daughter's Sweet 16 after a snappy remark from the 16-year-old sours the gift: ‘I’m broke—$150 is definitely something I don’t need to spend'

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  • UPDATE: AITAH for offering to make sweet 16 favors for my coworkers daughter and scaling down on what I was planning on doing after the daughter was r de to me?
  • Last week I was looking for advice on a situation. I run a small party business from my home as a second job. I had offered to make sweet 16 favors for a coworker's daughter who was having a small restaurant
  • party. I was paying for all the supplies and the favors were my gift. My coworker is a single mom with five kids. I really offered because of my relationship with the mother, we work together over 20 years and I
  • really do love her. she's had a very hard road the last few years. Two really crappy husbands, and honestly terrible taste in men. I was discussing the color scheme
  • with the daughter and mom over FaceTime and she had mentioned that she wanted light blue and light pink as her colors. I don't typically associate those colors with a sweet 16, I was slightly concerned it might
  • look like a baby shower. She was not happy with that statement and repeated"light pink and light blue!" in a super harsh tone. A few days later, I spoke to the
  • mother and I explained to her I was having issues finding what her daughter wanted in those colors. She called her on speakerphone with me in the room and the
  • daughter say loudly "what part of light blue and light pink does she not understand" I walked away super upset. I had planned on making her favors
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  • and then surprising her with going to the restaurant before the party and use matching tablecloths, chair covers and fancy balloon centerpieces. The mother and I had
  • talked about this, but the daughter did not know. It was going to be surprise. I just didn't feel like doing the extras after she acted like that. Answers to all the questions that came in:
  • -The daughter absolutely knew that this was my free gift to her, she knows there's no charge for this. She knew that I was on the call both times.
  • -A number of people thought I was r de for saying I didn't like the color scheme. Unfortunately I'm a doormat, the daughter set the tone of the conversation early on, and there was no way to get it on a
  • positive tone. All I could think is that she didn't like having a small party and that she wanted something much bigger but her mother cannot afford it.
  • -A number of people thought that this might be a coming out party of some kind, I know that it's not. -A number of people thought I was being too sensitive. That I needed to
  • get over a ride 16 year old. I deal with ride people every day and I do it with a smile. Honestly, it's a gift. Being r de just means you're not happy. But I was upset because I've
  • known this child since the day she came home from the hospital. I would've hoped I meant a little more to her. Apparently, I was incorrect. I know better now.
  • • A number of people thought the mom was wrong for not correcting the daughter immediately, sadly I agreed. It was such an uncomfortable conversation. She apologized for her being a teenager when we got off the
  • phone. I thought it was a copout. I definitely think the daughter has the upper hand in the mother/daughter relationship. Getting me involved is just awful.
  • -Lastly so many people told me not to make the favors, to tell the daughter that I was unable to find what she wanted and unable to make them. I am going to make the favors, but I'm not going to do anything else.
  • I had budgeted $150.00 to make the 18 favors. To be honest with you I'm broke. $150 is definitely something I don't need to spend especially on a kid who is extremely r de. I totally offered and I will absolutely make them, but I'm not going to do anything else.
  • Let's explain me, I can't help volunteering. No matter what it is, I'm the first one to volunteer. I offer my time and my party supplies, way too easily. I am at the point now where I do more free labor work than I get paid. Even if somebody pays for the
  • supplies, it never covers the whole thing. It always cost me something. I have to start working on getting paid parties and less free stuff, but I'm really having a hard time with so many people who are so used to getting my services for free.
  • Last week a woman asked me to make favors for her daughter's college bed party. In the past, she had paid for only my supplies. I explained to her that I could no longer do it, but I would have to
  • charge her and give her a good discount. She was totally upset That I had the nerve to ask her to pay. I've done four or five things for her for free in the past but for some reason, she felt I was in the wrong. She
  • bitched to so many people about me, how dare I charge her? Meanwhile, we're not even close friends. My Reddit family is a harsh judge. You have given me some perspective
  • to realize that all of this is absolutely my fault that I allowed my friend's daughter to talk to me that way and that i'm stupid for making the favors. I just don't have it in me to not make them. But it's really pushing me to
  • take a stand and set some kind of boundaries because I can't keep giving it away for free. It is going to be the death of me. I'm way too stressed about meeting Deadlines for people for free and not taking on more paid work. Wish me luck!!!
  • Salaminizer- All this over not your daughter. Need I say more?

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